Download E-books Uncle John's Presents: The Book of the Dumb (Uncle John Presents) PDF

A party of dimwits, lunkheads, undesirable rules and simply simple wrongheaded foolishness. In each box of human recreation, there are humans, issues, and ideas that rank one of the best mankind has ever produced. This publication is not approximately any of that stuff. If there is something human historical past teaches us, repeatedly and all over again, it truly is this: by no means underestimate the ability of human stupidity. many times, the human means to do particularly dumb issues pops up in outstanding and infrequently strangely artistic methods, and mostly catches those that do the dumb issues unexpectedly. From crashed Mars landers to vegetable-flavored Jell-O to land wars in the course of bitterly chilly Russian winters, The ebook of the Dumb chronicles the various greatest moments in human folly in each box of human activity. writer John Scalzi (a widespread contributor to the Uncle John's toilet Reader sequence) takes the reader during the complete of recorded background, trying to find the simplest examples of the worst rules, regrettable utterances, and crackpot theories within the fields of arts, technology, politics, activities, leisure, and more.

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Download E-books The Authorities PDF

Sinclair Rutherford is a tender Seattle cop with a flavor for the finer issues. Doing menial projects and getting hassled through superiors he does not recognize are certainly no longer "finer things". reliable police paintings and undesirable success lead him to crack a case that alterations fast from a career-making holiday right into a high-profile humiliation while pictures of his pursuit of the suspect - wildly irrelevant homicide weapon in hand - turns into an online sensation.

But the very exposure that has made Rutherford a guffawing inventory within the division lands him what may be the task chance of a life-time: the opportunity to paintings with a group of eccentric specialists, on the course of a hard yet distracted billionaire. jointly, they have to clear up the homicide of a psychologist who really expert within the therapy of sufferers who provide humans "the creeps".

There is not any scarcity of suspects.

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Download E-books Un chapeau de ciel (Les annales du Dique-monde, Tome 32) PDF

By Terry Pratchett

« Robin Deschamps Feegle, je vos demande maetnant d'alleu sauveu l. a. ch'tite michante sorcieure jaeyante. Un rukeu est après elle. » Et voilà les Nac mac Feegle, les ch'tits hommes libres, sur le pied de guerre. vehicle un bad hazard threat leur protégée, Tiphaine Patraque, onze ans, apprentie sorcière : un rucheur veut s'emparer d'elle. Un rucheur, c'est comme un babar-l'ermite. Ça emménage en vous... et on ne peut pas le tuer. Alors tous les skills en herbe de Tiphaine ne seront pas de trop, non plus que ceux des Feegle, de fins bagarreurs, et peut-être faudra-t-il que s'en mêle maîtresse Ciredutemps, los angeles sorcière de référence.

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Download E-books Horrid Henry Wakes the Dead PDF

By Francesca Simon

You will not think what HORRID Henry will do next!

Henry will do whatever to win the grand prize at this year's expertise show...even wake the lifeless! Plus 3 different tales that may go away you screaming for more.

If you learn this ebook, you are going to chortle so challenging MILK may possibly pop out OF YOUR NOSE!
(Find out why millions of children worldwide love Horrid Henry.)

"A loveable undesirable boy."
-People

"Kids will love examining the laugh-out-loud humorous tales approximately somebody whose habit is even worse than their own."
-School Library Journal

Find extra Horrid Henry stuff at
www.jabberwockykids.com

FROM THE table OF HORRID HENRY:

THERE are no lovely FAIRIES IN MY e-book AND NO MAGIC WIZARDS both. but when you need to SEE an individual reason loads of difficulty, i am THE BEST.

-HORRID HENRY

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Download E-books A Highly Unlikely Scenario, or a Neetsa Pizza Employee's Guide to Saving the World: A Novel PDF

By Rachel Cantor

"Cosmic and comedian, packed with philosophy, mysticism and celestial whimsy. either profoundly wild and wildly profound." 
—Charles Yu, writer of How to stay accurately in a technology Fictional Universe

In the not-too-distant destiny, competing substantial quick meals factions rule the area. Leonard works for Neetsa Pizza, the Pythagorean pizza chain, in a lonely yet hugely surveilled domestic place of work, answering calls on his proceedings hotline. It’s a humdrum activity, yet he likes it—there’s a suite solution for each situation, and he by no means has to go away the home. other than then he begins getting calls from Marco, who claims to be a thirteenth-century explorer simply again from Cathay. And what do you assert to a caller like that? Plus, Neetsa Pizza doesn’t love it for those who burst off script.
           
Meanwhile, Leonard’s sister retains disappearing on mystery missions together with her “book club,” leaving him to keep up his nephew, this means that Leonard has to move outdoors. and outdoors is the place the difficulty begins.
          
A staggering debut novel in which medieval Kabbalists, infrequent e-book librarians, and Latter-Day Baconians skirmish for keep an eye on over mystery mystical wisdom, and one Neetsa Pizza worker discovers that you simply can’t retailer the realm with pizza coupons.

From the exchange Paperback edition.

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Download E-books When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? PDF

By George Carlin

Now in paperback, the New York Times bestseller that takes readers on a riotous trip in the course of the brain of 1 of America's most desirable comics

George Carlin's mythical irreverence and iconoclasm are on complete demonstrate in When Will Jesus deliver the red meat Chops? as he vainly scours the yank panorama for symptoms of intelligence in his 3rd nationwide bestseller. starting from his absurdist facet (Message from a Cockroach; television information: The demise of Humpty Dumpty; suggestions for Serial Killers) to his unerring ear for American speech (Politician speak; Societal Clichs; Euphemisms: thirteen sections) to his unsparing perspectives on the USA and its values (War, God, Stuff Like That; 0 Tolerance; bored with the Handi-crap), Carlin can provide every thing that his lovers anticipate, after which provides a couple of surprises.

Carlin at the conflict of the sexes:

here is all you'll want to find out about males and women:

girls are loopy, males are silly. And the most cause girls are loopy is that males are silly.

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Download E-books Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said: Wit and Wisdom from America's Finest PDF

By Dan Caddy

The authentic tie-in e-book to the wildly renowned fb web page, that includes brand-new loopy, off-the-wall, outrageously humorous, and downright "awesome" pearls of knowledge from real-life drill sergeants and teachers from all branches of the military.

Sweat dries. Blood clots. Bones heal. Suck it up, buttercup.

After his deployment in Afghanistan, Dan Caddy begun swapping nice drill sergeant tales by means of e mail with different wrestle veterans-an trade with acquaintances that might develop into the devoted fb web page, "Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said." yet what begun as a comedic outlet has advanced right into a strong on-line group and help community that conducts fundraisers for and donates to army charities, has helped veterans suffering from PTSD and different concerns, and on quite a few events, actually kept lives.

Now, Caddy stocks extra nice DS stories-most by no means ahead of seen-in this funny assortment. usually profane, occasionally profound, but continually wonderful, those rants from genuine lifestyles infantrymen are interspersed with vigorous sidebars, best 10 lists, tales from lovers, one-liners, and more.

For someone who has suffered a hard-ass supervisor (in uniform or not), Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said will upload a far wanted dose of humor to the day.

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Download E-books The Garden of Eden PDF

By Eve Adams

As touching because it is funny, The backyard of Eden is a parable for our time with a robust and finally redemptive finishing that speaks to oft underappreciated virtues similar to loyalty (sticking with these you like even if they screw up royally), tolerance, and forgiveness. it is also in regards to the values that preserve the USA together---the uncomplicated options traditional humans locate to maintain their small groups strong.
Trooper Sam Neely is clean out of the country Police academy and reveals himself assigned to the dullest backwater city he is by no means heard of. issues warmth up fast in Eden, usa, even if, while Ed Harris, the banker, unearths his spouse in mattress along with his ally, Hayden Elkins. Ed choices up a shotgun, escorts them either to the door, and tells good friend Hayden, "Guess what? She's yours!"
"I've bought a spouse, Ed," says Hayden.
"Now you have got . . . ."
Forced to take his paramour to reside less than his personal roof (after all, they'd basically meant to percentage a day of pleasure, to not go away their spouses), Hayden without warning reveals himself the butt of each comic story on the town.
That's the place issues begin to spin out of control.
Before lengthy, Elijah Murphy, the city under the influence of alcohol, and the snooping widow round the corner, to whom he'd uncovered himself, are falling in love; sleazy Sheriff's Deputy Delmar Clay is set to get a butt-full of birdshot for the images he is been snapping of younger getting sizzling and heavy in parked autos; and the Barrow Boys are out of reformatory and searching out hassle. quickly, Neely unearths that coping with the crises within the sticks is a full-time activity, and it takes an entire community---from the compassionate neighborhood Justice of the Peace to the hot lady preacher---to maintain issues from exploding big-city kind.

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